Don't have anything specific to write about, so I'll grab some letters out of my mailbox from the past week:

Q: JJ, who do you think will win the Miracle/Spectrum game next Thursday? I kind of hope Spectrum wins; we have been having a little trouble lately out of those buttholes from the Miracle team. Good luck. All elbows are welcome vs these guys.

 --Debrah, Commish of Paragould Basketball League

JJ: I hear you Debrah. I thought going into the season, the Miracle were a bunch of good guys just looking to have a good time and get a little exercise in. At least that's what they told me. I had heard from someone that Timmons was just going to come down the court and pull up and shoot from wherever he wanted just messing around. I had figured Steve would just be there to scout the walking track up above for girls. I figured Worm would wear his reading glasses while playing, and hand out business cards as he ran up and down the court. I was picturing Opie over on the bench with his little boy in his lap while he explains the game to him. Two spots over on the bench I was picturing Dave U sitting there smiling and having a good time while he blows on his duck call..... MAN WAS I WRONG!  It appears after a little 2 game winning streak, the Miracle have gotten a little cocky and are going " 1989 Detroit Pistons Bad Boys"...........there's constant complaining going on about certain members shooting too much. So much that even Paul Stallings hears about and mentions it to me while eating dinner a few weeks ago (I'm serious). Then you've got them complaining and fighting so much during a game the other night, that the refs actually stopped the game and threatened to call it. Yep, Opie had gone Ron Artest and was getting ready to fight with some guy from the other team. After that, Opie was probably headed for the stands to hit someone else, but luckily they resumed the game. Plus, when I've watched, Utley always looks pissed off at the other team and looks like he's dying to exchange blows, and Timmons' wife is always in the stands yelling at y'all and talking the team down. It's just not a very good atmosphere of late. I'll be watching my back next Thursday the full 40 minutes, and that's for sure!

Q: Dude, did you like it when I aimed that roll of toilet paper at your head the other night during the movie? How about when I dumped a whole bag of rice on your head 1 minute before the movie ended when it was obvious I did it just to get rid of it before the movie was over, & to do it just to piss you off?

-- one of the many Freaks @ the Rocky Horror Picture Show

JJ: Freak, you're a tool!  What was the point in that? BTW, Amber & Dan, what was the point in me even going in the first place? There wasn't 10 normal people in the whole theatre. 2 Hours of a movie about Alien Transvestites...........horrible! Should be called the Rocky Horrible Picture Show!

Q: I saw where Arkansas beat Ole Miss last night in basketball.........maybe you're right! Maybe Ole Miss does suck at everything! Toodlz!!

--Britt, Jonesboro

JJ: It's about time you came around Britt..........by the way, remember, lets not say "Toodlz" anymore.

Q: JJ, I didn't get what was so funny when you & Dan were laughing at this conversation the other week while eating at Wings To Go. Could you please repeat what was said?

--Jerrica, Alumni of Mount St. Mattress high school

JJ: Sure, here is how it went (we were talking about Christmas presents):  JJ says, "Jerrica did your shirt I get you for Christmas fit?"  Jerrica: "yes it did..thanks"......JJ: " by the way, what did I get you for Christmas last year, I can't remember?".....Jerrica: " I can't remember either, maybe you got Dan and I a joint gift (as in just one present for them to share).......Dan: "a joint gift? No, that was probably from Mitchell!" ....... Hahahaha!! I still can't stop laughing when I think about that! Dan was so quick on that one too.

Q: JJ, lets make a trade in fantasy baseball.....I heard Jose Reyes is not going to steal any bases this year, so you shouldn't want him. Why don't you trade him to me? I'll trade you Joe Randa for him. Also, I want you to throw in Brett Myers and Barry Bonds just to even it out a little.....annnnnddd, go ahead and throw your cat Max in there... as well as your vehicle too. Okay, that's my offer. Let me know something.

--Steve Gibson, San Dino, Mexico

JJ: Oh brother! It's just about that time of the year again where I start getting these crazy email trade offers from Stevie! Somebody shoot me!

Late,

JJ